Ignorance. Indifference. Prejudice. These are but a few of the obstacles we Targeted Parents must overcome. People do not know about about narcisstic abuse by a mentally ill spouse. People do not understand abnormal psychology. Not even highly trained mental health professionals are capable of dealing with abnormal psychology. Society believes in the fairness and good intentions of the justice system. Our experience is completely different than their experience. Our REALITY is completely foreign to theirs. Others think there is something wrong wth us because they do not understand the pathology.
Most, if not all of our former spouses suffer from a cluster B type personality disorder as defined by the American Psychological Association in their DSM-5. The most common forms of this type of mental illness is Borderline and/or Narcissistic personality disorder with histrionic and sociopathic filling in the remainder. Most sociopaths and histrionics cannot disguise their mental illness and usually do not enter into intimate relationships with marriage and children. The Narcissists (NPD) and Borderline (BPD) are extremely adept at hiding their true selves. This form of camouflage and illusion is a form of self preservation, a skill they have developed in order to meet their own selfish desires and needs. Their need is for admiration, protection and what they believe is "love". They feel they did not receive this love as children and therefore must get it now in adulthood. Their deep desire for this "love" is so essential they will lie, cheat, and manipulate others to get their fix. This is one of the many symptoms of a personality disorder and also demonstrates the differences between a normal ranged person and a mentally ill person.
When we talk about or circumstances, many people judge us. They will say or think to themselves "there must be a reason why you don't have custody/visitation with your children". When they hear your level of emotional response, your pleas for help and justice their beliefs are only reinforced by our level of emotions, irrationality hopelessness and frustration. They do not know that our exes have BRAINWASHED the children into choosing between one parent or the other. What decent parent does that?!? It is so beyond the level of rational behavior they cannot believe it, yet it is exactly what we are dealing with. The behaviors of the Alienating parent (AP) are so far fetched, so reprehensible, so malicious and evil that decent people cannot comprehend. This is why when we seek help from others we our pleas fall upon deaf ears. "No one can be that bad", "no one would do that", "I know your ex, they aren't like that" these people do NOT know our spouses. They only know the façade our spouses displayed, in order to lie, cheat, manipulate and steal for the "love" they feel they never have recei vd previously.
Society views these people as victims and they use this as another tool in their arsenal. People also believe the justice system and even Family Law courts are fair and just. Courts are merely an extension of government. Government is in a position of authority over people and the courts are abusing that privilege. Through various Federal laws and acts, local governments and courts are extracting Federal funds for local benefits. Title-4D of the Social Security Act is the biggest cause of this egregious siphoning of taxpayer dollars. Sec. 451. [42 U.S.C. 651] - Sec. 469B. [42 U.S.C. 669b] actually incentivized courts to make unfair and unjust rulings in family law cases. This is why we are fighting against an immovable wall., with the harder we hit, the harder we get hurt.
We must educate society, courts, family friends and mental health professionals in all of these aspect that we are up against before we can affect any change. The fight against Parental Alienation is not just about the children. It is about educating and transforming the beliefs and mindsets of judges, attorneys, mental health professionals and society as a whole. We must educate ourselves first in all of these areas before we can begin to educate everyone else that has a stake in our fight to protect our children. We must first change the ignorance, indifference and prejudices against us and gain new allies in our fight before we can defeat parental alienation.
I too am a Targeted Parent. Stand with me to defeat the horrible monster that is PA.