How do we WIN?
We must be able to return to normal. We had lives before we married these pyschopaths, we must find our lives again.
What were your hobbies before you got married and had children? What is on your bucket list? Do those things!! Go back to school, jump out of an airplane, go on a safari, go for your dream job!! Do it! You must return (or go towards for the first time) all of your dreams and goals!!
Our pyschopathic exes want us to suffer, to writhe in pain and agony. They are mentally ill individuals that thrive on abuse and control. If they can affect you still, they will!! Move on with our own lives. Be happy!
There also comes a time when our children grow up, leave the nest and decide or not if they choose to have a relationship (and what kind) with us. Well, due to our crazy circumstances we are on the accelerated timeline. That fork in the road has already passed. Part of our problem is since our exes were nuts, we invested even more into our children. That was the only NORMAL we were allowed to have! They became our little saviors!
Get past that. Move forward and upward with your own lives. We are strong! We carried all that dead weight for years and we survived! Now that we have ditched the deadweight, see how fast, how high you can excel!!!
Am I saying give up the fight? Of course not! Unless of course the fight is all consuming. Blocking and preventing us from living! Who are we helping at that point? We behave crazily, filing motions against the other parent, giving them ammunition to use against YOU to the children! The psychopath continues to win. Stop the game. As long as we are still playing the game, the psychopath affects us. That is what THEY want. To them it is about revenge, hurt, and suffering. They feel due to their psychopathic worldview that WE HURT THEM by leaving. Of course we left because we got tired of THEIR ABUSE!
Unplug. Live your life, be happy, be successful.
That is how WE WIN!!
Taken from a Facebook post with permission of the author.
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I too am a Targeted Parent. Stand with me to defeat the horrible monster that is PA.